“Be still, and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10)
I was raised by a single mom that lived in survival mode, who only knew how to fight. She had a very difficult life. Growing up she was abused and mistreated. As self-preservation, I believe those painful moments conditioned her to react to challenging situations as an adult by being forceful – sometimes belligerent. In retrospect, when I think about witnessing her reactions to people, I believe she felt she needed to protect herself from who or what she perceived as a threat to her life or livelihood (whether real or imagined), and the only way to do that was to fight back with force. She lived with the “fight or flight” mentality. She lived in perpetual survival mode.
Growing up being exposed to this behavior unknowingly conditioned me to handle certain difficult situations the same way. I didn’t entertain the notion that there was another way other than to “clown” to get results. But the more I walk with God, the more He teaches me to trust Him on a deeper level, and the fruit of it is learning to be still in my spirit and rest in Him, which ultimately brings me peace. I’m learning to approach situations a different way – from a position of faith and not fear. I’m learning to really trust and believe that God loves me and will work everything out for my good.
It does not mean that I never get upset or angry or frustrated. Life still happens. There will be times I’ll need to be assertive to resolve an issue, but being assertive comes from a place of strength and confidence – confidence in God. But if I’m being hostile, I’m coming from a place of fear, because deep down the truth is I’m not trusting that God will handle the issue for me. Psalm 138:8 says “The Lord will perfect that which concerns me”. Another word for perfect is ‘complete’, or ‘accomplish’.
I’m also learning that patience is necessary, because while I may get a faster result being difficult, it does come at a cost. A cost of my peace, which for me is priceless. And it may also cost the peace of the person I’m interacting with, because my anger is being projected on to them. To allow God to handle it His way may take more time, but the end result is so much better.
As I continue to put my faith and trust in God, I can relax and be at peace knowing He’s got it all under control. He’s promised to go before me and make the crooked places straight. I know that He is God, and I can rest in Him.
Heavenly Father, I thank You for Your peace. Thank You that with every situation You bring me through, You are healing me and teaching me more and more who You are, which gives me rest in my soul. Thank You for Your faithfulness, Your patience, and Your unconditional love. I give You glory and honor in Jesus’ name, Amen.
