“Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers”. (3 John 1:2)
There was an area that I had not fully surrendered to the Lord. This is a difficult thing for me to share, but I have diabetes and I have not been faithful in what I need to do to take better care of myself. I’d been focusing on other areas of my life like resting, and spending quiet time with God and growing in Him, but I wasn’t being responsible with doing what I needed to do for my health. And while I’m being honest, I didn’t want to, because it meant I had to eat better; cutting back on carbs and sweets (which I love), and start exercising again. I can’t even say I was in denial. I think a more fitting word would be defiant. And stubborn. And as much as I hate to admit it, it also meant I was walking in pride.
I can be an emotional eater, and I love my comfort foods. Pizza, chips, chocolate, and my biggest foe – ice cream, have been my go-to foods a lot lately. Sometimes after eating them I would feel guilty because I knew the food wasn’t healthy for me. The desire to do better was always there, but a big part of me didn’t care. Having to watch what I eat all the time means I have to deny my cravings, and I didn’t want to – especially when I felt stressed. I also felt like diabetes had power over me with its restrictions. I wanted to ‘have control’ and eat whatever I wanted. It wasn’t until I started having problems with refilling my prescription that I realized I needed to humble myself and surrender to God that things changed for the better.
My employer changed insurance carriers a few months ago and the new insurance company denied covering the diabetes medication I’d been taking for years. I was repeatedly making phone calls and there was a lot of back-and-forth between my doctor’s office and the insurance company, and I was caught in the middle. During all of this, I wasn’t able to get refills because my new insurance wouldn’t cover it. So it meant I had to go without it. This went on for over 2 months. I was really concerned that my blood sugar was going to go through the roof (especially with the way I was eating). I wouldn’t test myself to actually know what my glucose levels were so I was also walking in fear.
The turning point came a few weeks ago. While all this was going on, in my quiet times with God, He would reveal to me a deeper level of what it means to be transformed by the renewing of my mind (Romans 12:2). And He lovingly began to connect that scripture to my mentality of not wanting to eat better or exercise. I knew I needed to change, so I repented and asked God to forgive me. I renewed my commitment to start eating better, and I got back in the gym.
I felt like God was using this challenge as an opportunity to show me that if I humbled myself, and began to actively participate in my health (not solely relying on the medication), He would turn things around in my favor. And that’s exactly what happened. I still had to make a few more phone calls, but it led to my insurance company approving my medication, and I was able to start taking it again. Not only that, but the adverse side effects it normally causes while my body gets used to it did not happen.
I’m still committed to eating better and exercising. I’m taking it one day at a time. It’s not easy, but I know the power of the Holy Spirit that lives within me will keep me going. And when it gets real tough I remind myself that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I want to thrive and live a long, healthy, and fruitful life. I want to do better and be better, and I know it starts with me. I’ve learned that I still ‘have control’, but now it means having self-control over my cravings and redirecting my thoughts into making healthier choices.
Are there any areas in your life that need to be surrendered to the Lord? Is there anything that you’re holding back (even a little), wanting to maintain control of? As we embark on a new year, let’s make (or renew) a commitment to be completely transparent and honest before God. He’s our Creator and already knows everything about us (see Psalm 139). Give it all to Him. He loves you and wants you to be whole and prosperous in every way.
Heavenly Father, thank You for Your unconditional love and patience. Thank You for forgiving me of all my sin. I humble myself before You and give You every area of my life. Have Your way God today and every day. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.
